This is the story of a crypto trading Hamster who has beaten the performance of some of the world’s top investors, including Cathie Wood and Warren Buffet and the S&P 500 index, which is widely used as a benchmark for active trading fund managers, with the rodent generating at its height almost 50% profit in last 3 months.

More importantly, after reading this, who thinks Mr Goxx should get his own YouTube channel, and will we be able to convince him to pick stocks for Motley Fool to write FUD about?

Meet Mr Goxx… the crypto trading hamster

The hamster, named Mr Goxx is kept by an anonymous German trader, has a specially designed cage, dubbed the “Goxx Box” which is rigged up to execute trades based on the hamsters behaviour. The Goxx Box could be named after the beleaguered early crypto exchange Mt Gox. The idea seems to be based on a book by author Burton Malkiel called “A random walk down Wall Street” in which the author posited that a blindfolded monkey throwing darts at a list of stocks could do just as well as an investment ‘pro’, as asset prices typically exhibit signs of randomness.

The cage is a strange, but innovative contraption which consists of an “intention wheel” upon which the hamster runs, and which chooses one of 30 crypto’s listed for trading. These are top digital assets, which include Ripple (XRP), Tron (TRX) Cardano (ADA) and Ethereum (ETH).

Once the hamster has had his workout on the wheel, where it settles determines which currency will be traded, and the direction of the trade is determined by the creature then running through one of two ‘decision tunnels’, one which is marked Buy and one Sell. On entering one of the tunnels, a trade is then automatically executed by a computer in 20 Euro increments.

It would be reasonable to assume that this inventive device would be largely random, and would probably produce an equilibrium of balanced won and lost trades. But that’s not actually what has happened. In fact, Mr Goxx’s portfolio was up roughly 50% as of the middle of September 2021 in less than 3 months.

Mr Goxx also has his own twitter account, with his performance being uploaded to the feed daily. As of the time of writing, the Hamster’s career performance is a very impressive 19.41%, which is more than double the gains of the benchmark S&P 500 index in the same period.

As Mr Goxx continues to outperform some of the biggest funds in the world (even though his success is modest in real money terms, as he clearly doesn’t have a lot of starting capital to play with), here at Apes Army, we are launching a campaign to have him named as the next chairman of the Federal Reserve, as he’s clearly better with money than most of the so called professional heads of the financial industry.

Long live Mr Goxx.